One can say many nice things about Christmas – not least that it can be very ROMANTIC. It means something to have time off together and be able to relax with good food in the soft glow of candles. Paired with thoughtful gifts, Christmas can provide the perfect backdrop if you are considering asking a very special person in your life something very important.
There are many ways to ask “will you marry me?” But the most important thing to remember when planning to do it is to do it in a way that she will like. If she is a private person, then ask her when you are alone together. If she is outgoing, you might consider doing it more publicly, amongst family, or even have family and friends play an active role in the proposal. It is still considered good form to ask her father for her hand in marriage beforehand – but only do so if you are sure of the answer! Otherwise, it could become very awkward…
Here are 5 tips on how to ask your girlfriend to marry you. All the suggestions lead up to the moment where you get down on one knee and tell her what it is that makes her so special to you. This is a very important step in a proposal, which you must not skip! The probability of her answering correctly increases considerably if you are convincing. Most importantly: Propose in a way that feels right and natural for both of you. But if you're in doubt, it's better to be a bit too correct than sloppy.
Christmas angel decorations
Find an openable Christmas bauble and place the ring inside. Then, lay it down amongst the other Christmas decorations that will go on the tree. Put on your favourite Christmas songs (if you can’t think of any, Michael Bublé’s Christmas album is an excellent choice) and consider opening a bottle of wine to calm your nerves. When you then decorate the tree together, hand her the bauble and ask innocently: “Is this new?” She'll surely notice something rattling inside the bauble and open it to see what it is. When she finds the ring, you’ll already be on one knee in front of her.
A question about dessert
If you're not in charge of the food, team up with whoever is and agree that you'll be responsible for the almond and the almond gift, so you can make sure she gets the almond on Christmas Eve. You do this by having an extra one in your pocket, which you slip into her portion. When she finds the almond, she'll need to receive her almond gift – a ring and a question from you.
Many cultures actually have a tradition of a dessert of sorts at Christmas with a hidden object. In France, for example, a bean is baked into La Galette des Rois (”the king's cake”). Whoever gets the pastry with the bean is crowned ”king for the day”. The same applies to the British ”Christmas pudding,” where a hidden silver coin brings good luck to the finder. In some places, this tradition has evolved into a whole toy shop of small objects, each predicting a specific future for the finder. A slightly dangerous tradition for the teeth, but surely an excellent business for dentists 😉
Do you think it would be more fun to work with a cake rather than risalamande (perhaps she doesn't like risalamande at all!), you could consider baking such a cake and then hiding the ring in it – or perhaps a toy ring, which can then be exchanged for the real thing when she finds it. But it's probably a good idea to make individual portions, so you don't risk someone else finding the ring!
Put on the glove!
Buy her a pair of beautiful gloves as a Christmas present and drop the ring into the left hand's ring finger before you wrap them. When she unwraps the gloves, insist that she tries them on. When she finds the ring, get down on one knee, tell her how much you love her, and ask her to be your wife.
Send your sweetheart on a treasure hunt
Send her on a wild goose chase with the aim of her finding the ring in the end. Each clue leading to the next location can be enhanced with a description of something you love about her. You can plan the treasure hunt in several ways: The outdoor version allows you to visit many of the places that are significant to you both. End at your favourite spot, get down on one knee, hand her the ”treasure” she has found, and propose to her.
You can also organise an indoor treasure hunt, where she has to go all over the house in search of the next clue. This version is, of course, not quite as cold and also gives you the opportunity to either do it indoors in private or perhaps on Christmas Eve itself, when the whole family is present and thus witnesses the experience.
Here are two examples from real life:
The gift of the year
This is one of the easiest ways to start a proposal and can be done in several different ways:
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The Babushka method: Use a series of boxes, one inside the other, that she has to work her way through to get to the small, revealing jewellery box – and then get down on your knee in front of her when she opens it.
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You could also give her a gift containing a key with a note that says “you hold the key to my heart”. Then, give her another gift containing a locked box. When she opens it with the key, she'll find the ring inside and you on one knee.
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A third option is to give her many small, thoughtful gifts, each accompanied by a small note telling her how that gift describes something you love about her. Let the last one be the small box with the ring and… you know the drill.
Unsure which engagement ring to buy?
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Here are a few more real-life Christmas proposals
Using family and friends
You could also write “will you marry me?” somewhere and then have her discover it at a strategically clever moment.
Free with our most popular engagement ring
Hiding Heart is an exceptionally romantic solitaire that allows light to penetrate to the diamond through the two carved hearts on the side of the setting. It is available in various metals and gemstone sizes.
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